


An Affront to Fashion

by shimmer_like_agirl



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 00:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16608089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shimmer_like_agirl/pseuds/shimmer_like_agirl
Summary: Sometimes a Watcher needs to be self-indulgent.Alternate Title; How Adira Got Her Stag Helm





	An Affront to Fashion

“I’m still not entirely clear on why I had to come with you.” It wasn’t quite grumbling, but it was close. The Watcher was making her way through Copperlane with Aloth but had yet to tell him why she’d chosen to bring only him. “Wouldn’t Edér be better suited for this? He has a much larger carrying capacity than I.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Aloth. I’ve seen the size of your arms.” Adira teased him lightly, chuckling at the faint blush that heated his cheeks. “You’re more than capable of carrying a little extra weight.”

“Ah, so your goal for this little escapade was just to get me alone?” Since travelling with her over the past few months he’d grown more comfortable with her teasing nature and returning it in kind. “What would your boyfriend say if he knew you’d been checking me out?” 

“I was hardly checking you out,” she said with a somewhat defensive laugh and gave him a gentle shove. “You wear sleeveless robes so you can’t blame me for seeing the goods when you’ve got them out on display. Don’t worry, looking did nothing for me.”

“Of course not. Your type isn’t handsome, distinguished elves, it’s big, blonde, bearded farmers.” He shook his head in mock disappointment. “It really is your loss, you know. I’m delightful,” he said, a mirthful smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You still haven’t answered my question. Why bring me instead of Edér?”

Adira figured she may as well be honest with him. “There are two reasons. Firstly, you’ve been too wrapped up in your own head lately and you needed to get away from the group. You know that I’m here to listen if something’s bothering you.”

“I...know. And I appreciate that.” He was silent for a moment before continuing. “What’s the other reason?”

“I’m not about to bring Edér into Admeth’s Den. That would just be a disaster waiting to happen.” She knew her partner well enough to know there was a good chance he’d be unable to stop himself and say something uncomplimentary about the Dozens. That wasn’t a fight she was willing to get into today. “It’s not actually a big shopping trip. I’m only here because Sonild has something she’s been holding for me. I asked her a while back to keep an eye out for something and she sent word that she found it.”

“Well now, consider me intrigued.”

He peppered her with questions during the rest of their walk, trying to guess what it was, but she refused to tell him. By the time they reached Admeth’s Den he was practically giddy with anticipation...or as close to giddy as she’d ever seen. “Don’t build it up too much in your head. It’s nothing earth-shattering.”

Sonild greeted them warmly as they entered and disappeared into the back for a short time before returning with Adira’s requested item. It was a large stag’s head that someone, for some unknown reason, had fashioned into a helm of sorts; antlers, teeth and all. At the sight of it, Aloth groaned and covered his face with both hands. “Adira, no.”

“Aloth, yes.” Eagerly she took the helm and placed it on her head, carefully tucking her dark, corkscrew curls underneath it. “This is everything I’d hoped it would be,” she said with a delighted little laugh. “It’s beautiful. It’s perfect.”

“It’s an affront to fashion.”

“Durance’s robe is an affront to fashion. This is a functioning piece of art.”

Aloth shook his head in disagreement. “It certainly is a piece of _something_.” He wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t serious. “You aren’t genuinely considering wearing this...thing...are you?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s worth it if only for the reactions it’ll get. Can you imagine what our enemies will think when they see a woman wearing an actual stag’s head?”

“They’ll think you insane...and the rest of us as well for following you.” The idea did have some merit, but he knew her well enough to realize that wasn’t her motivation for ordering the monstrosity. “What’s the real reason, Adira?”

“Oh, you’ll see.”

She revealed nothing more during their trip back to the Goose and Fox. Once through the doors, still wearing the helm, she made a beeline towards the table the rest of the group congregated around. She stifled a laugh as she watched Edér choke on his drink, his eyes going wide at her approach.

“No,” he said through a string of coughs. “Oh, no, that hideous thing’s going back wherever it came from.”

“You don’t like it?” The innocent sounding question was asked with a knowing smirk.

“You said you were joking!” He coughed again, thumping his chest with a fist in an attempt to clear his lungs. “And this is even uglier than what you described.”

Adira gasped and reached up to cover the stag’s ears with her hands. “Don’t say things like that in front of the hat! You’re going to hurt his self-esteem.” She slid into the empty chair next to him. “Get used to the helm, love, it’s here to stay.”

Edér groaned loudly, pushed back his chair and made to leave the table. “Not sure what I did to deserve this, but I ain’t gonna sit here and look at that dead-eyed monstrosity on your head.”

“You keep talking like that and I’m going to wear it to bed!” she called to him as he headed towards the stairs. “You’re gonna forget what my real hair looks like because I’m never taking it off!”

“I think we need to see other people!”

Adira giggled in delight and claimed what remained of his ale. “That was totally worth the price.”

“Wait….you went through all that effort just to get a reaction from him?” Aloth wasn’t sure he’d ever fully understand the dynamic of their relationship. “All that for thirty seconds?”

“It keeps things from getting boring,” she said shrugging. “I’ll make it up to him later and then he’ll get me back somewhere down the road.”

“You two are lucky you found each other.”

“I’ll drink to that.” 


End file.
